“dedicated to embracing the beauty inherent in the changes
brought to our bodies by motherhood, childbirth and breastfeeding.”
I started following this project right after I had my
daughter. I found myself feeling so proud of the women who were participating
in this project and continued to follow it on Facebook and on their website. It
was several months later that they announced that they would be coming to
Toronto. I so wanted to be a part of it but I really wanted to make sure I was
doing it for the right reasons. The spots opened up in March and I sat at my
computer, with the confirmation button staring at me. I eventually hit confirm,
perhaps by accident and a little bit on purpose. I realized that I was doing
this for me, I was doing this for my daughter and I was doing this because it
was important to me.
I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have been
called names and have been made fun of and I realized during this process that
I have put myself down, both in my head and out loud for my entire life too.
This process really made me realize that my daughter would now hear all those
negative comments I make about myself. I suddenly found myself worrying that
she might go through the same things and that devastated me, no one should have
to go through or think those things about themselves. So I decided that I was
going to participate and change my way of thinking and speaking for myself and
for her. Even if I had to bare my post pregnancy body … stretch marks and all.
Upon arrival, I sat in the lobby of the hotel, seriously
considering leaving because I was so nervous. You know how you feel right
before a job interview? Times that by a hundred. I got the text message that
they were ready for me and off we went. My husband came with me because my
little one is walking now and getting into everything! We entered the room and
met Ashlee and Laura (the founders of the project) and baby Nova, Ashlee’s
beautiful daughter. I announced my nervousness and was happy to hear that that
was a common feeling among most women who participated. Laura got started on my
hair and makeup, which surprisingly put me at ease. We had a wonderful chat
while my husband played with the babies and then it was time to remove
clothing. Shockingly, while getting changed, my nerves were almost
non-existent. Ashlee and Laura have a way of making you feel incredibly
comfortable. There are 3 components to participation. First, Ashlee interviews
you, asking about your pregnancy and your delivery and whether or not you chose
to breastfeed or not. Second, you have a head shot taken and third, the most
fun, your baby/babies join you for a photo. Ashlee and Laura work this process
like a well-oiled machine, while continuing to make you feel confident and
beautiful. I left that day feeling something completely foreign to me. I felt
beautiful, for the first time in god only knows how long, I felt proud and I felt
valued and celebrated. I can truthfully say that since I took part in this
project, I have not once had a negative thought about my body and I hope I
never do again!
I want to thank Ashlee and Laura for doing what they are
doing. I hope they realize the impact they are having on these women’s lives.
For me, it was life changing and I will never be able to thank them enough. I
am so grateful.
I haven’t told many people that I participated in this
project, for fear of judgment but I guess this is my way of letting that go
because now you know!
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